i am who i am?

today.. suddenly.. i thought about this question. pretty emo. but i guess it makes pretty much a sense.

are you who you are?

everytime when you do something, speak, express.. is that really the true you?

are you forced? do you feel happy?

everytime after talking to my supervisor.. i'll ask myself.. "hey, did i say something wrong just now"

and that was NEVER happening during school days. or rather.. maybe it did happened once or twice. but i'm sure it has never happen more than the times i asked myself after sitting in my supervisor's car.

maybe i'm just stupid. i'm just too direct.

but sometimes i really find it purely disgusting to fake something out. to have the sheepish laughter. why is it SO damn hard for ppl to accept others in their pure natural form? i really wonder. i thought really hard.

why is it possible for me to talk to my friends and colleagues at a super duper ME attitude and not my supervisor.

the problem came in. actually i'm really scared of being backstabbed. really scared of smarter people that will outsmart you and thus make use of you. i don't know.

there won't be a forever foe or friend. that's wad jr told me today. made quite a bit of sense.

am trying not to think of work after working hours. but i frowned upon this question when it suddenly popped into my little pea brain.

i think i shall remain quiet from now on. it'll be not so me but i guess.. i've got to learn it. give face. sigh. face. i felt like slapping him. =/